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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Celebrity Deathmatch NFL Edition

Celebrity DeathMatch Sports Edition
By: Jeremy Shin

Manny Pacquiao’s next fight won’t be against Floyd Mayweather. No surprise there. Disappointed fight fans can find refuge in the revival of iconic 1990s MTV reality show Celebrity Deathmatch (sponsored by none other than Coopers Sports Picks). The revamped version of Celebrity Deathmatch cleverly exploits the recent rash of brawls between teammates by matching squabbling athletes and coaches against each other in a nationally televised battle royale.

Let’s take a look at the under card:
Terrell Owens versus Chad OchoCinco

Venue: A blood-stained UFC Octagan

Celebrity

Deathmatch: NFL Edition


Opening Favorite: Draw (-1000)
Analysis: No need to enlist the services of Bob Arum here. These athletes (self) promote themselves. HBO 24/7 producers will be licking their chops at the opportunity to film T.O. doing crunches in his driveway while Ochocinco eagerly choreographs victory dances instead of actually training for the fight.
The blood on the Octagan will have to be applied from leftover Halloween makeup prior to the fight. Has anyone noticed the UFC finally started mopping up the blood on the floor between fights? Dana White has officially sold out.
Prediction: The pre-fight smack talk will easily outshine the actual fight, which will likely feature both divas endlessly circling each other while firing verbal jabs about who has better individual statistics. Rumor has it producers will allow both men to wield pillows in a futile attempt to encourage them to actually engage each other in combat.

The Pick: Take the draw to the bank.

2. Donovan McNabb versus the Shanahans

Venue: Mile High Stadium
Opening Favorite: McNabb (-225)
Analysis: The NFL is the only league where you can get a $78 million dollar raise one week then get axed the next. Shanahan claims it’s not personal but fails to realize that getting benched for Rex Grossman is always personal no matter how you spin it.

The elder Shanahan was smart in demanding a high altitude venue: McNabb is has suspect cardio (T.O. will vouch for this). Shanahan will also have the support of the masses in Denver. Still, this matchup comes down to which side has the superior corner. Even with son Kyle Shanahan backing him up, the smart money is on McNabb because rumor has is it that he’s been training with his agent, Fletcher Smith. If anyone knows how to overcome the odds with low blows and backstabbing tactics, it’s an NFL agent. Also, Momma McNabb will provide replenishing cans of Campbell’s Chunky soup for her son between rounds.
The Pick: McNabb, if he can finish it in the early. Take the Shanahans if you think it’s going past three quarters.

3. Shaq versus Kobe

Venue: The Forum
Opening Favorite: Shaq (-175)
OK, this isn’t an NFL matchup but had to thrown it in for nostalgia. No one is buying the pre-orchestrated truce Kobe and Shaq staged in Phoenix at the 2009 All-Star game. Everyone knows David Stern/Tim Donaghy rigged that one, too.
What about Shaq’s congratulatory tweet to Kobe after he won his first ring without the big fella? I redirect you here.
The bad blood still simmers, and it’s finally time to settle the score.
Analysis: Please refrain from calling this a David vs. Goliath matchup. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Goliath never conducted the Bethlehem Philharmonic (cut to the 2:50 mark here to see The Big Aristotle conduct Queen’s We Are the Champions.)
Kobe’s giving up seven inches and 120lbs to Shaq, so he’s going to really have to morph into his moniker, the Black Mamba, and pick his spots wisely here. Shaq is the more experienced gladiator of the two, having dropped gloves with the likes of Greg Ostertag and Sir Charles throughout his career. Kobe’s lone melee was with the lesser known Raja Bell, whom he challenged to a battle in the Octagan during a post-game press conference. Sadly, the fight never materialized after Bryant refused to relinquish top billing despite his lopsided 90-10 cut of the fight purse. Typical Kobe.



The Pick: Bet the mortgage on Shaq Diesel.
An impressive undercard pales in comparison to the main event, headlined by the one and only Brett Favre. Much like Maximus, Favre has proven to be unstoppable in traditional 1v1 or 2v1 hand-to-hand combat. Organizers couldn’t secure the proper permits to have Favre face a horde of lions so they settled for…
Brett Favre versus the rest of the Minnesota Vikings
The Venue: The Collapsed Metrodome

Opening Favorite: The Vikings (-20000)
Favre’s teammates did little to hide their disdain for him during their week 15 loss to the Bears: not a single Viking so much as offered him an oar to help him back to his feet as their concussed quarterback laid motionless on the turf. Favre eventually wobbled to his feet and limped to the sideline on his own but the play further reinforced the fact that Brett is far from a locker room favorite. Even the trainer kept whacking him in the back of the head with his clipboard during mid-week concussion tests.
Given Favre’s current status, his only hope is that either the Vikes are rendered immobile by waist deep snow inside the Metrodome or they spot Brad Childress in the stands and go for him instead. Expect Brett to graciously congratulate the Vikes after they force feed him five pounds of yellow snow by urging them to “go beat the Packers.”

The Pick: The Vikings are laying some heavy chalk and facing the fury of Mother Nature, but a season’s worth of pent up frustration and the opportunity to sucker punch Favre will be the difference here.

Sidenote: Roger Goodell released a statement explaining the NFL couldn’t go beyond fining Favre 50K because there was of a lack of “forensic evidence” linking Brett to a cell phone picture allegedly featuring his, um, “equipment.” Can’t help but snicker when picturing Goodell sitting through a powerpoint slide presentation in his Park Avenue corporate office while forensic scientists break down the probability that a grainy cell phone picture of genitalia belongs to Favre. It’s doubtful Favre would’ve accepted an invitation to come in and offer a live comparison: the 50K fine is .03% of his $16 million salary this season. If you’re an average Joe making 50K a year, that’s equivalent to a $152 fine. Not exactly worth the embarrassment of flashing a roomful of strangers.
A quick injury note: Favre is questionable for this matchup with a fractured ankle, lacerated chin, and the sniffles. Stay tuned for minute-by-minute updates on his status for the next seventeen weeks.

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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Green Bay Packers vs Patriots Pick

The Cheese heads in Green Bay face off against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots this Sunday night at 8:20 live on NBC. The pats have been on fire and as usual Brady is appearing as Most Valuable Player in all likeliness. It sucks for the Pack that their star quarterback is hurt with a concussion but if you had followed our arbitrage parlay card pick you would be celebrating now with all of the money you are about to make tonight.


The Live NFL spread is avaialable and changing rapidly here at Coopers Pick. So check with your bookie before you place your wager.

Green Bay has a solid defense and will hope to win the game with that side since Rogers being out will certainly put a ton of pressure on back up qb Matthew Flynn.

The NFC playoff scenario looks like this: if the Pack lose tonight & the Chicago Bears win tomorrow against the Vikings then Chicago takes the NFC North.

The Pats come into tonights game with the leagues best record of 11-2 along with the best offense in the leauge. In the last 6 games they've averaged about 40 ppg. Tom B. has 18 td's in his last 10 games and when he plays at home he doesnt lose since he is 26-0 and have only lost to 1 NF team in their last 22 games.

The current over under stats against the spread are that the under has hit 7-0 in the Packers last seven away games. The Over is 6-1 in the Patriots last seven home games. The Over is 13-3 in the Patriots last 16 games overall.

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Philadelphia Eagles vs Dallas Cowboys, -3.5, 50.5

The Cowboys are 1-5 at home this year, but at the moment should be undefeated under Jason Garrett with the costly fumble against the Saints. With the serious injuries to the Cowboys right now; Jason Witten has an ankle injury, their top two cornerbacks Orlando Scandrick [with concussion] and Mike Jenkins [knee injury] are banged up and Marion Barber has a calf injury and on top of that, the most important injury would be the season ending ankle injury to Dez Bryant that will probably hurt the most in the long term.

With the Eagles last game being last Thursday, Philly has had 10 days to prepare for a Dallas team without their most explosive player in Dez and we all know how good Andy Reid is when you give him a full 10 days to not only prepare for a team, but rest his players as well. Asante Samuel and Juqua Parker will both be available and healthy for this game, which will give a serious boost to the Eagles defense.

The Cowboys have won 3 in a row versus Philly and 4 of their last 5, but this time, the Eagles will turn the page. These two teams have yet to play this year and the Eagles are 5-1 ATS in their last 6 games in December, there is simply too much explosiveness on this Eagles offense to be stopped by an injured Cowboys defense right now.

In Michael Vick’s career versus Dallas, he has thrown 5 TD/ 1 INT and has a 2:1 TD to INT ratio on the road in his career as well; take Andy Reid and the Eagles with 10 days rest against the banged up Cowboys.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Oakland Raiders Jaguars NFL Pick

Oakland Raiders (6-6) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (7-5)

NFL Point Spread: Jaguars -4 O/U 43

By: Barrett Kazmerzack of Coopers Pick CALL NOW 1-888-730-COOP

The Raiders got back in the playoff picture with an impressive 28-13 win over the
San Diego Chargers last week. They will be facing a Jaguars squad that has won
4 of their last 5 games and is in first place in the AFC South with a slim 1 game
lead over the Indianapolis Colts. The Jags looked stellar on defense last week in
their 17-6 win over the Titans. Can either team play any rushing defense in this
game? That is the big question and the team that can do it has a great chance to
win.

QB David Garrard leads the Jaguars, but they only have the league’s 29th
ranked passing attack and running the ball is their strength. In their last 5 games
Jacksonville has averaged 184.8 rushing yards per game and RB Maurice
Jones-Drew has 5 straight 100+ yard games, which is the longest streak in the
league. That is not good for the Raiders, who are legit at defending the pass
ranking 9th in the league, but weak at defending the run ranking 23rd. However,
in their last game they held the Chargers to only 21 rushing yards, but will face a
stiffer test this Sunday against the Jags. If Oakland can contain Jones and force
Garrard to air it out they have a chance to win this road game.

In the win over the Chargers last week the Raiders rushed for 251 yards and the
RB duo of Darren McFadden and Michael Bush combined to rush for 192 yards.
They will be facing a Jacksonville rushing defense that ranks 17th in the league
and last week held Titans’ RB Chris Johnson to only 53 yards on the ground.

The Jags have been torched through the air this season having the league’s
27th ranked passing offense. Oakland QB Jason Campbell will get the start this
weekend and his season has been up and down. In the win over the Chargers he
was only 10/16 for 117 yards with 1 TD, but he did not have to air it out since the
Raiders’ rushing attack could not be stopped. Much like the Oakland defense the
Jacksonville D has to defend the run well and force the Raiders to win through
the air.

The Jags have to play good special teams’ defense, as the Raiders have 5 kick
return TD’s.

The Raiders may have to keep this a low scoring game, as the Jaguars are 12-1
in the last 2 seasons then they score over 20 points.

This season the Raiders are 7-5 ATS and the Jaguars are 8-4 ATS. In a couple
of interesting betting trends for this game Jacksonville is 0-7 ATS in their last 7
games as a home favorite of 3.5-10 and Oakland is 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games
as a road underdog.

Oakland is 4-1 ATS in their last 5 road games and Jacksonville is 7-15 in their
last 22 home games.

Free Pick: I don’t think either team will play much run defense, but I do think Jason
Campbell will have a good game and that will be the difference. The Raiders will
win this game in an upset and move above .500 for the season.

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Saturday, December 4, 2010

San Francisco 49ers at Green Bay Packers, -9, 41

When the 49ers travel to Lambeau Field to play the Packers on Sunday, they will be trying to get their first win in Wisconsin in around 15 years. The 49ers task will get a little bit harder without their top running back for the rest of the season in Frank Gore, he fractured his right hip at the beginning of the Monday Night Football game last week against the Cardinals. San Francisco will be relying on Brian Westbrook and Anthony Dixon to carry the load against on of the stingiest run defenses in football led by linebacker Clay Matthews. The Packers are currently scoring 7.5 more points a game than San Francisco and allowing 5.5 points less; to me, that is a great formula for victory.


Before the 49ers win in Arizona on Monday Night Football, San Francisco was 0-3 on the road and 0-3 ATS, I simply do not see San Francisco coming out and showing the same type of performance in Green Bay in back-to-back weeks. Green Bay is 6-1 against the spread against the 49ers in their last 7 meetings in Lambeau and with Troy Smith and the Westbrook/Dixon combination, I do not think the 49ers offense will be enough to match the onslaught Aaron Rodgers will put on the Niners defense after getting slowed down by the Falcons last week. Aaron Rodgers has thrown 40 career touchdowns at home in his career and threw for 344 yards, 2 touchdowns and zero interceptions in his only game versus San Francisco. The smart lean in this matchup is with Green Bay to overwhelm the reeling 49ers.

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